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| 05:02pm 14/02/2009 |
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"Clay is not gay! I completely agree with you!! My friend wants me to write "Clay is straight. The only only proof you need is listening to Touch about three times!" Well, my proof is just the way he acts around men and women. If a man (like Leno on Jan. 22, 2004) tries to hug him, he doesn't hug him all the way to his body. He even pulls away if Jay Leno or some other guy tries to hug him more. But when he hugs women, he wraps his arms around them and presses them to his body. Like any straight man. He said he had girlfriends when he was in highschool. He LIVES with Kim Locke. He has kissed her many times, in a more-than-friends way. I just don't get it."
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) clayisntgay |
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| 04:49pm 14/02/2009 |
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| BOOK CLUB, WEEK #1 |
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| 12:06am 24/05/2006 |
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We're trying something new; a BOOK CLUB, of sorts. Every week (or, you know, whenever anyone remembers), the title of a book will be posted. The objective of that week is to not read the book. Then, you discuss it. Simple? Sure, LIKE YOUR FACE. Or you know, something.
Anyway, the book of the week:
The Corrections, by Jonathan Franzen.
Over the last year, Jonathan Franzen's book has served many purposes to certain girls. The book has squashed spiders. The book has been used to keep "ARE U MY _____ FROM THE INTERNET!" signs from curling. On and on a semi-related note, the author's name has also served as an e-mail address to comment in Jonathan Seller's webpage, I'm just sayin'.
However, the book has not been read. Your book club duty, should you choose to participate, is to not read the book and report on that.
Discuss. |
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| why the backstreet boys are the coolest mofos in town (no seriously.) |
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| 05:25pm 13/08/2005 |
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mood:  calm music: omg omg omg BACKSTREET BOYZ!!!!!!11111oneoneoeneight
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Yeah, what the subject line says. (Seriously, A. and H., you MUST see these pictures, as I know how much you guys love mullets.)
The Backstreet Boys, musicians extraordinaire have released a brand new music video for their song entitled just want you to know (which is basically Kelly Clarkson's since u been gone with less guitar and more drums and synth) and....omg omg omg I haven't seen it yet, but know that I'm dying to do so...
...let's just say that presently, Willy and Dickie would fit in very well with this video. (By the way, apparently Willy claims that Dickie is gay. AHAHAHA. I'll bet.)
Anywhow. ( ON WITH THE AWESOMENESS: )
Basically, this looks like the greatest music video EVER. I AM TOTALLY DOWNLOADING IT RIGHT NOW (along with two Daniel Kublbock songs I HAVE NEVER HEARD BEFORE!!!!111): TODAY IS A GREAT DAY OK. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| six reasons why willy and dickie are totally the same person |
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| 05:19pm 23/07/2005 |
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mood: amused music: dj shadow - stem/long stem
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(I am well aware that this entry makes no sense whatsoever. But bear with me here, okay?)
I have a theory: Jacob William Hoggard = Richard Kalan Porter. I'm not kidding. Here are five six reasons why:
1] Kalan started the show (you know, the auditions) with an (almost?) mullet. Though his hair is probably the grossest it has ever been as of late, he no longer has a mullet. Jacob, on the other hand, now has a mullet. Gross.
( the MULLET )
2] Remember how hilarious Kalan's c.d. cover shot/promo pics were? The one where he looked like a 12 year old Oriental girl? And the general consensus was "OMG WTF DID 19E AND BMG DO?" Well, Hedley is on Universal, and in all seriousness, the promo pics don't look all that different: same pose, same posture. The only difference is that Jacob does not look like a 12 year old Oriental girl, because he's more boyish looking. No, really.
( the pseudo-angst promo pics IN THE EXACT SAME POSE WTF SERIOUSLY )
3] Hilarity in itself: the fact that people "floorgasm" in general is hilarious enough. The fact that they both do it in live shows is practically inhibits bladder control.
( the FLOORGASM )
4] Apparently, both Jacob and Kalan are writing songs. Despite the fact that they both need a smidgen of help with their lyrics (OH MAN), they're both writing the same damn song. Compare:
( villain )
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( cross the line )
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So apparently, replace the word "jesus" with "parachute", and you have the other song. EXCEPT IT'S STILL THE SAME DAMN SONG. JEEZE. Guess which is whose.
5] So. Hedley has this new song called "on my own". It's pretty awful; a friend of mine who heard it came up with the PERFECT but HORRIBLE description of what it sounds like. But I digress, because point number five does not have much to do with Hedley. Actually, it has more to do with what would happen if there was a song with Kalan's voice to Hedley's music. And it's called Shades Of Grey. Seriously, wtf.
ETA (thanks for the reminder, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) gonetoarcadia: you win at life): 6] Kalan has a fanclub called "B&H", which is short for Boomers and Hens. Jacob has a fanclub called RIOS, which is short of Rocking It Old School.
Like the name says, both clubs consist of those mostly over the age of typical Jacob and/or Kalan fans who obsessively obsess over these children. I'm not kidding: it's like the same freaking thing. AND IT IS VAGUELY SCARY.
...
There are differences between the two (for example, one is tall and the other is short. Also, one has some serious junk in the trunk, while the other has no ass at all), but still. THEY ARE THE SAME PEOPLE OK.
Discuss. Points awards for creativity. |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| whoa oh oh oh...you got...THE RIGHT STUFF. |
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| 12:47am 15/07/2005 |
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music: I SHOULD BE LISTENING TO NKOTB...BUT I AM NOT.
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Pictures later. But for now, JOEY MACINTYRE, formally of the NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK wins at life.
Here is a profile of Joey Mac.: not only does he have EIGHT (yes, count 'em, EIGHT) siblings, he's also married. To a WOMAN (AHAHAHA WHAT A JOKE). Named - and get this - BARRETT.
[insert cue for laughter here]
Recently, Joey was on the TV show "dancing with the stars": it was a really classy show. It yielded amazing pictures such as this:
I LOVE the terrified look on his face. It's PRICELESS.
Also, apparently Joey Mac. has total street cred., and he is hardcore ghetto. I mean, CHECK OUT THIS PICTURE - he's all like TALK TO THE HAND and I'm all like AHAHAHAHAHA DO THAT AGAIN:
Therefore, Joey Mac. is a winner. A LIFE winner. HE WINS AT LIFE.
(...and on a completely unrelated note? If Dickie were awesome? He'd be like Rufus Wainwright: so awesome and little and adorable and gay. So just like....YES.) |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| fill-it-in ficlets/drabbles!!!!11111 times THREE!!!11111 |
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| 03:03am 09/06/2005 |
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mood: accomplished music: MY LIFE IS MAAAAAAAAGIC
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By simply plugging in names and altering one or two words, three awful completely unique drabbles have been created!!!!1111
Chad Doucette/Luke O'Reilly
"I can't believe you're going home," Luke says, sadly watching as Chad zips his suitcase shut. "Oh my God, you were fantastic!!!"
"Thanks," Chad sighs regretfully. "At least someone thinks so."
There is awkward silence, the kind that passes before the acknowledgement that there is nothing left to lose. Finally, Luke reaches out and hugs Chad. Chad hugs him back with relative ease, and against his better judgement, kisses Luke chastely on the cheek.
Luke pulls back. “Thank you." Chad smiles and kisses him softly on the mouth, this time.
(And then there is lots of gay sex.)
The end.
Erica Peck/Suzy Rawn
"I can't believe you're going home," Suzy says, sadly watching files her nails as Erica zips his her suitcase shut. "Oh my God, you were fantastic!!! They like my greasy hair better"
"Thanks," Erica sighs regretfully. "At least someone thinks so I will grease mine up."
There is awkward silence, the kind that passes before the acknowledgement that there is nothing left to lose. Finally, Suzy reaches out and hugs Erica. Erica hugs him her back with relative ease, and against his her better judgement, kisses licks Suzy chastely wetly on the cheek.
Suzy pulls back likes it. “Thank you." Erica smiles and kisses him softly licks her again on the mouth, this time.
(And then there is lots of gay lesbian sex.)
The end.
Jenner Hughes/Dave Moffatt
"I can't believe you're going home," Dave says, sadly watching smirking broadly as Jenner zips his suitcase shut. "Oh my God, you were fantastic!!! You didn't suck, but I rock."
"Thanks," Jenner sighs regretfully snarks back. "At least someone thinks so Shut the fuck up, man."
There is awkward bitchy silence, the kind that passes before the acknowledgement that there is nothing left to lose two guys are really, really horny. Finally, Dave reaches out and hugs gropes Jenner. Jenner hugs gropes him back with relative ease much glee, and against his better judgement, kisses Dave chastely on the cheek sloppily in his pants.
Dave pulls back licks him. “Thank you Fuck me." Jenner smiles and kisses him softly on the mouth, this time grins and rips off his ugly striped pants with practiced efficiency.
(And then there is lots of gay sex.)
The end.
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BWAAHAHAHA oh man.
CI3.
What a joke. |
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Read 10 - Post |
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| BROCK SMELLS LIKE CHICKEN. FRIED CHICKEN. |
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| 07:18pm 26/05/2005 |
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mood: artistic music: I WILL STILL LOVE YOU - BRITNEY AND DON PHILLIPS
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DO YOU KNOW WHO WINS AT LIFE? WHY, HEATHER WINS AT LIFE. GET WELL SOON YOU ALMOST LEGAL ONE, YOU.
DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WINS AT LIFE?
THE RANDOM LADY WHO RANG UP THE TV GUIDES THAT WERE PURCHASED AT SHOPPER'S DRUG MART TODAY. BETWEEN HER CONFESSION THAT SHE WAS A NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK FAN, AND THE FACT THAT SHE BELIEVES THAT KALAN PORTER IS IN THE CLOSET, WE ALSO HAD A VERY NICE CONVERSATION ABOUT HOW JALAN ACTUALLY EXISTS. AND NO, WE DID NOT INITIATE SAID CONVERSATION.
(OKAY, WE KIND OF DID. EXCEPT SHE WAS THE ONE WHO BROUGHT UP THE JALAN, POINTING OUT THAT THERE WAS NO WAY THAT CHILD COULD BE NOT IN THE CLOSET IF HE SPENT ALL HIS TIME ON IDOL HUGGING "THAT GUY AND REFUSED TO LET GO OF HIM". ALSO, SHE TOLD US AN ANECDOTE ABOUT HOW SHE MET HIM, AND MISTAH KALAN PORTER SPENT A LITTLE TOO MUCH TIME STARING AT HER MALE FRIENDS.)
I DON'T THINK SHE WAS A BITTER HO.
IN CONCLUSION, YOU SHOULD READ MOLL FLANDERS. I HAVEN'T YET (NOR DO I EVER INTEND TO) AND I BET IT'S REALLY BORING. THE END.
P.S. apparently only one of us had a conversation. the other was trying to "CLEAR HIS NAME", whatever that means. Okay? Ok. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| FIRST POST! |
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| 04:02pm 28/03/2005 |
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mood:  awesome music: Kris Kross - I Missed The Bus
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This man wins at life. He is SEXY and AWESOME and OMGWTFLIFEWINNER. No, I am not talking about Brian Mulroney. I am talking about one Mister Derek Sharpe, better known to the world as Mister Sass (or you know, in some other social circles as "kalan-porter's-guitarist-slash-band-leader-slash-lover").
Mister Sass is ONE SEXY MOFO, as you can see in this picture (to your right, not your left: the left just detracts from the ONE HUNDRED PERCENT PURE WINNINGNESS of that picture.) In fact, he is also AWESOME-TASTIC TIMES ONE MILLION AND EIGHT when he looks mildly constipated.
Mister Sass is married to one Canadian musical ICON named SASS JORDAN (who might eat children, but mostly just acts drunk and hits on people who have heads shaped like lightbulbs. See Beals, Gary F.) Mister Sass has luciously long and beautiful hair that might have dandruff - I don't know. Sometimes, he wears bright pink shirts in concert, and more often than not, he gropes and is gropes ridiculously thin boys named Dickie, on stage.
In conclusion, Mister Sass wins at life because he is awesometastic times infinity. OMG WTF MISTER SASS ROXXERZZZZ!!!!!11111231111125236121re445
Thank you. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| 09:54pm 27/03/2005 |
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testing...testing....sibilance... |
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Read 1 - Post |
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distressed
